This blog contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission from your purchases.
A call for help
I reached out to a friend thousands of miles away, mother to a son with type 1 diabetes. She’s also mother to children with other types of special needs, which is how I met her.
She helped me understand the stigma and judgment parents of children with type 1 diabetes – not to mention the kids themselves – have heaped on them every single day. I didn’t know:
- Parents of children with type 1 diabetes are frequently told, “Maybe your child wouldn’t be sick if you fed her more nutritious foods or made him exercise instead of play video games.”
- Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease. There’s nothing the parent or child could have done to prevent it.
- Food and activity also won’t cure it.
- There is no cure.
- There is only insulin.
- Type 1 diabetes means the pancreas does not function.
- Insulin is necessary to stay alive.
- Insulin is expensive and administration is often complicated and painful.
- Most people don’t know the difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes.
- The two diseases are extremely different.
- While I specified type 2 diabetes in the article, the kit was intended for children with type 1 diabetes.
- Despite knowing it isn’t their fault, many parents of children with type 1 diabetes feel guilty anyway.
- They live in a state of exhaustion due to checking their child’s blood sugar every few hours 24/7.
- They live in chronic fear because type 1 diabetes is a life threatening disease and can quickly become deadly.
- There is much misinformation about the disease and they are angry when articles (like the one I wrote) feed into it.
Making it right with the type 1 diabetes community
I got it after talking to my friends. I was desperate to make it right.
I spent hours debating what to do, then many more hours revising the article to include the info about type 1 diabetes so many provided.
Then I sat at the computer screen continually hitting reload as I waited for the new version to go through editing and be live so I could share it.
I was relieved when the tone of the messages shifted. Of course, some people still hate me to this day and tweet I’m “human garbage”, but overall the new version of the article was well received.
I’m so glad.
Keep reading to find out why I related so much to these angry moms and why it was so important to me to make things right.
Thank you, thank you. You are forgiven. From a D-mummy (momma bear and proud ) to 10yr old boy w t1d since age 4.
THANK YOU!
Thank you!~
Thank you for this! I appreciate that you took the time to read the concerns and do the right thing, as opposed to people like Vinnie or the guy at crossfit. I am so sorry people threatened you and your children, that is not right! I am very happy that you will be taking your time, talents, and connections to help spread the word about type 1 diabetes. 🙂
Thank you!
Thank you so much for the apology!! You are truly forgiven and I also wanted to apologize on behalf of those who threatened you there was no need to get to that point. Sincerely a Proud D-momma to a wonderful 7 year old brave boy!!
Wow! What a lovely person you are? I’ve been ‘ticked off’ with loads of badly researched articles but never have a heard such a lovely, heartfelt public apology as that. I welcome you to come and have a coffee with me over here in SW France any day. I completely forgive you 🙂 xx (momma bear to 9year old T1 )
THANK YOU!! Your original article was a hard blow and hurt so many, as we in the T1 community (my daughter has T1) struggle with an invisible and VERY misunderstood disease due to the media and public misunderstanding. You have handled the situation with such grace, I was thankful that you chose to rewrite the original article. That alone was more than others have recently done for us and shows true character. This article/blog has left me in tears. Thank you again, you have won a fan. From a self proclaimed mama bear!
I didn’t respond to the initial article or tweet. But, as a mother of a child with type one diabetes, belonging to several support groups- I have seen the comment many times across my news feed. In any case, a child is guided by there parents for their overall health. If a child did develop type 2- they may not have access to healthy food options, info on type 2 related diabetes prevention or even going outside. But- this is aimed at type one. I am by this point, used to seeing comments similar to this comment but what is different about this (though I wasn’t offended- I can see why both people with both types of diabetes would be) is that you took the time to understand. :). And possibly inform. Thank you!! None of us walk in others shoes. Type 2 diabetes is not 100% preventable. We can take care of ourselves and our families. Surely, a person with diabetes is not given a jump rope at the doctors office- it is just not that easy for everyone and making it sound that way (not by you- but the general community) does not help those in need- or those who are on the track to being faced with diabetes. The message isn’t that we care- but rather you did this- loss weight/ exercise. It is a hard thing to do for some. Love one another. And yes, having type one diabetes is very similar to having a mental illness. Unless you are touched by it, others don’t understand. It can’t be seen. You may be judged due to lack of understanding. There may be a conception that you should exercise and it will go away (or similar) or that it is easily treated. Life is not easy. 🙂
Good luck on your adventure!
I did not read the original article, but I appreciate your honesty and apology. I hope that you do all that you can to help spread awareness and educate about Type 1 – it’s so frustrating to have people judge because they think exercise and diet will cure it. While exercise and diet is an important part of managing the disease, basically T1Ds are on life support (insulin) until a true cure is found and no diet or exercise will change that.
Thank you!! My 10 year old son was dx with t1d just before his 7th birthday, and my 5 year old son has severe anxiety disorder. Parenting is hard. Momma Bears UNITE!
Thank you for owning your mistake, and showing all of us how our vigilance and hard work in advocating can pay off. I am sorry that anyone in the diabetes community wished harm on you or your children – that’s not what we’re about. Again, sincere thanks. Michelle (Mama to a 16 year old T1 who ROCKS diabetes)
Thank you for your understand and writing this…it’s easy to say the word “sorry” …but it takes more to stand behind it…it manes the world to this t1d parent to see that you not only said the word but backed it up by educating not only yourself but others too.
I will admit, that I’m pleased that you took the time to reach out and rewrite your article. I was saddened by the first article that took away the triumph of a Type 1 diabetic girl who sought to make her and other kids lives better by this cute kit that makes them not feel alone. Acceptance is huge. While I was angry too, I’m ashamed by those who aren’t civil in their posts, messages, and tweets. Good grief! Hold your head up high, because you’ve done what so many haven’t. You corrected your mistake. Thank you for that. From one mamma bear to another.
My post to author:
How refreshing. Heartfelt response. I appreciate you!!
I did not have the energy to interject the precious articles. There is a constant flow of harmful opinions & misconceptions floating around in the general public about type 1 diabetes. It’s daunting. This community needs help voicing our struggles & stories in order for things to improve. I know many of us feel invisible, but are too exhausted to constantly advocate. It takes time, patience, forgiveness.
Thank you for practicing empathy, and taking the time speak truth. I hope others out there will care enough to listen.
Love, a Mom (who happens to have a kid that did nothing wrong, but carries the invasive burden of type 1 diabetes)
The give way entry will not workfor me 🙁
Oh, no! I wonder what’s wrong? It’s working for others. Maybe reload and try again? If that doesn’t work, email me at rachaelmoshman@gmail.com
Thank you 🙂 most don’t correct it the way you have and I truly appreciate it! From one mama bear to another!
Although I didn’t see the original post I do appreciate when someone steps up and admits what they did was wrong. The T1D community is continually fighting the general public on the difference between type 1 and type 2. Thank you for stepping up and learning the difference!!
Thank you for writing this. I didn’t follow much of the AG drama since my daughter with diabetes is 16 and past the AG stage (her three dolls collecting dust on my closet shelf – no room in her closet amongst the endless clothes).
I do love that AG has created a diabetes kit and I think my daughter would have enjoyed such a kit when she was still enamored with AG but alas days of dolls have given way to guitars, music, vibrant hair color and boys.
There is also the fact that while diabetes is a huge portion of her life she doesn’t like to ‘play’ with it.
I miss my pig-tailed doll playing tea party daughter but I must say it’s nice we can enjoy the pure magic of 70s/80s hair bands and classic rock together now too.
Anyway – I am a mom of 3 kids with diabetes actually. My two sons also have Type 1 diabetes and while I’ve never said they couldn’t have dolls they’ve also never asked for one and they too are past doll playing stages, although there are endless action figures and lego mini figures on every floor and flat service of my home. Wonder when Lego or Marvel will do up a diabetes kit?
I digress.
Thank you for clarifying your thoughts and spending the time to learn. Not something many people do these days of click bate and dollars per click.
Sorry you received hate mail. That saddens me more than the initial ‘oops’. We can’t educate through anger. Education comes via compassion. Thank you for seeing beyond the hate to recognize the hurt.
Blessings to you and yours always.
Tina
I shared this on my FB and I added this and wanted you to see it: “I am PISSED at this- you know why?? Because in the name of “advocacy” people in my beloved T1 community wished this woman harm, they wished her children harm. Really?? You want to advocate and educate and get people on our side by threatening them? It’s sickening.”
Please know that MOST of the T1 community that I know and love is not like this. Our goal is to advocate and educate, not bully and threaten. I am sorry you experienced this, it is so unacceptable.
-Stephanie (proud T1 Momma)
As a D-momma bear I thank you! You didn’t have to do that and it took courage to acknowledge it
Thank you for the sincere apology. I am glad that you took the time to educate yourself and update your article. I am proud to be a momma bear of a six year old T1 Diva who is coming up on her one year diaversary in February.
Thank you for immediately revisiting the subject in an effort to clarify, correct, apologize, appease… all the above. It seems you truly grasp the reason behind the fury (though I would never participate in or condone the threats, name calling, and ill-wishing upon others). As mom, sister, niece, and best friend to people with type one diabetes, though none are young girls with an American Girl doll interest, I appreciate it and appreciate the pledge you’ve made to help share accurate and unbiased, nonjudgmental information about both type one and type two diabetes. We truly need to continue to lift our voices in whatever format (social media, townhalls, print media) and educate society as well as advocate for continued research for advancements in treatments as well as a cure. Good luck to you and your family, and I wish you good health and happiness.
We have all made mistakes. You portray genuine remorse and have gone out of your way to do so. THis T1D momma forgives you and THANKS YOU for making things right.
Hey, brava for owning up! That’s a really brilliant move on your part and is really important to help people understand. I don’t think it’s necessary or important to compartmentalize type one and type two diabetes. The comments made by that trainer indicated a systemic problem of blame and shame. Nobody should have to endure comments like that me with T1 or you with T2. You did a smart thing here, and I congratulate you, but let’s not put a wedge in the diabetes community. Diabetes sucks, no matter what type or level of function your pancreas is at and nobody deserves to be blamed or mocked for it-nobody.
Hi. I missed your initial article… but bravo and kudos to you for correcting the mistake and being up front about it. So tired of hearing damaging remarks about diabetes that are continually perpetrated by the media.. who refuses to distinguish between the types AND refuses to acknowledge that some type 2’s are perfectly healthy weight and do their best to prevent it… diabetes is a spectrum, sometimes made worse by lifestyle… but we need to stop treating it as a death sentence!
– adult onset type 1 diabetic (oh yes, that happens too!)
Thank you for writing this. It really does mean a great deal to to see you post your thoughts for us to understand your thinking.
Sincerely,
A T1D Mom
Thank you for the appologies. I’m the Momma Bear of an 11 year old boy, so the American Girl Kit means nothing to me, but I know it’s important to others. I wanted to apologize to you for the name calling and treatening words you spoke of in your Blog. I am embarrassed that T1d Momma Bears would act like that. You may have written information that was not accurate but that does not give anyone the right to be unprofessional or rude. So please accept my appologies and my appreciation for your corrections and continued support of our community.
I am reading this post now, after the fact. Honestly, just reading about it made me tear up. I am one of those people who used to be blissfully unaware of the implications of having type one diabetes. My 5 year old daughter has had type one for almost two years now and it basically rules my world. We cannot do anything without planning ahead for her to have snacks or something to treat a low blood sugar. We must always have a bag of supplies with us to test and treat her, even just for a quick walk around the neighborhood. It breaks my heart to see people like this trainer you mention who are clearly implying I don’t give my daughter a jump rope, let her play outside enough, etc. and this is why she has diabetes. Short sighted, misinformed people like this gentleman might cause my daughter to feel guilty because she has an autoimmune disease that required constant vigilance. He would be surprised to learn that she eats a rather healthy diet for someone her age, loves to play outside, and very much enjoys trying to jump rope and climb trees. I read your pledge to spread awareness and I appreciate that. Hopefully one day there will be a cure for type one, but in the meantime, I would really like a bit more understanding that lifestyle did not cause my daughter’s diabetes. We currently have a much more crudely made toy pump for my daughter’s dolls. And you know what? Playing with it makes her feel a bit more normal and allows her to forget about all the finger pricks, shots, pump and cgm insertions she has to deal with on a daily basis.
Thank you for your sincere apology and for setting the record straight. And thanks in advance for pledging to do more to raise awareness of Type 1 Diabetes. One of the best and most important things you can do is register to be a JDRF advocate and help us influence Congress to fund the Special Diabetes Program which benefits ALL people living with ALL types of diabetes. Go here to sign up and make a HUGE difference: http://jdrf.org/take-action/advocacy/join/
How refreshing for someone to give a heartful apology and take resposibility for their actions instead of making excuses or blaming someone else. You are forgiven. And the trainer should take a lesson from you.
I hope everyone stops the “hate mail”. Being a mom of a type 1, I understand all of our frustration in the public confusion of the difference with type 1 and type 2. The thing is our children go through a lot and we seem to have to defend them a lot and correct the awful things people say. Key is we just have to keep educating. This was a mistake, the writer got the point and apologized. The American Girl thing is pretty cool.
Thank you for writing this heartfelt apology.
I am the mother of a 6 year old with Type 1 and he has such a battle to face each day and I am so looking forward to the day when people are more informed about his condition and what caused it. People should know that it can happen to anyone at any time, even if no one in the family has it, and that it is especially good at popping up up out of the blue and trying to take our children.
There is so much talk about Type 2 that many people do not know Type 1 even exists. Type 1 needs a cure and people do not want to donate to finding a cure because they believe it is a reversible disease that is preventable, which of may be true about many cases of Type 2, but it is not at all in any way true about Type 1. And, for the record, I believe people with Type 2 deserve more empathy than they commonly get. We know a lot more about Type 2, but there are a lot of unknowns about it, too, and also misconceptions. Even if a person did do something to cause his ore her disease, they should not face ridicule or shame.
Thank you, thank you, thank you again. And I hope you and your daughter’s battle against the condition she child is fighting also becomes more understood and that your child finds support and encouragement from strangers as she moves through life.
It sounds like you could use some help folding laundry, too. Blessings to you and your family.
Thank you for your sincere apology. Mistakes happen. We are human after all! Thank you for actually caring enough about all of our T1D kiddos to take the time to learn about what was wrong with the article and then to want to educate others about the difference between Type 1 & 2 Diabetes. Knowledge is power and you have the key! I’m a very proud momma bear of a 15 year old Type 1 Diabetic daughter who was diagnosed at 13.
Kid with diabetes and attentive parents, yeah this is surely where we should do some petty rationing. Doctors and their egos, so fun to deal with. I just loathe the way he’s innlntiaizifg you.
Thank you for your statement. Heart felt. From another T1D momma bear for 10th old who has had T1D for half her life
I am saddened our community threatened you. I appreciate your apology and accept it. Thanks for updating the article and sharing this here.
I’m honestly not impressed with your admission that you ‘knowingly wrote a one-sided story’, with an explicit goal of ‘stirring up a little drama’.
I’m a parent of a Type 1 kiddo, and while we’re pretty used to people being ignorant and thoughtless on the topic (it’s not part of their lives, right?), I’ve also never encountered someone who was intentionally stirring the pot, either.
I wish you no harm, I’m not angry, but your note above makes very clear where you are coming from – you are the kind of writer who intentionally writes one-sided bits in the service of drama.
As my father always said: ‘Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”.
If you intentionally stir up drama, it’s hard to have much sympathy when it backfires on you. I wish you the best of luck in your chosen vocation of professional pot-stirrer.
First thank you for this amazing response. Looking forward to having another advocate on iur team!!!
Second, I’m ashamed to hear that it turned to negative and violent discussions. We aren’t really like that. We’re a tight knit group that fights for the lives of our babies every day, so we obviously value human life. Sometimes, I think sleep deprivation and emotions just take over. I’m sorry that you experienced that.
Thank you so much for your apology, and ownership of your words. I appreciate that so muc, from one mama bear to another.
I am sorry that there were inappropriate replies to you, wishing harm to you, and your children. It’s so important (in my opinion) that when we advocate it is done with an eye to educate, not attack. It makes a big difference in how one’s message is heard. Thank you for hearing us type 1 connected people.
Thank you for owning the mistake and understanding the anger. I didn’t respond to the article, but it was disappointing to read. I appreciate your reaching out to our community.
Hate that you felt the wrath of the D mom community. My T1 daughter is now 15….As a child she looked just like the AG doll Kit. She was 10 at diagnosis and her dolls were decorative at that point, but if she had been diagnosed younger, she would have loved the diabetes kit for her dolls. I get that the general public doesn’t understand the life of a kid with T1…but the American Girl diabetes kit has sparked dialogue and that’s a good thing. Just wish it have been with a civil tongue toward you.
Thank you! #untiltheresacure #T1D
Loved this!
I applaud you for taking the rotten tomatoes thrown at you and learning from it, and rewriting your article to be more clear and focused. Not many journalists do that, nor do many apologize for mistakes greater than this one. And you’re not even a journalist (no offense) so it’s even more impressive. As far as one-sided, I have to disagree with how people are taking that. You took a quote from one person and used it in an article, thereby making it “one-sided”. But it wasn’t to cause harm nor injury. The trainor did have a point in his original tweet but the mark hit the wrong target. He didn’t specify his target audience either, it was a tweet.
I think it’s shameful that we live in a world where people hide behind their computer keys and threaten others, literally threaten to harm someone else because of something they said wrong, mistakenly said, were ignorant about, or simply disagree with. The true shame here lies on those who would send such hateful messages, rather than educational messages, helpful messages, to an author who has gotten information wrong. Hey folks did you know only 80% of the information in your children’s textbooks at school need to be correct in order for it to be published, and it is taught and tested AS PUBLISHED? Are you sending hatemail and threats to Scholastic? Grow up, peeps. Rachel just showed you how to act like an adult.
Amen, Kelly!
Thank you! 🙂
Thank you! I have three children with type 1 diabetes (the first child being diagnosed at age 2) — and we have been dealing with t1d for 14 years. Your blog apology took courage and a huge heart. Thanks again!!
Hello,
Great letter. Thankyou. I didn’t read the original article.
I’m sorry that people were so incredibly rude to you, called you names and wished bad things upon your children. There is NO EXCUSE for this kind of behavior….momma bear or not. Just like in the community at large, there are parents of diabetics who are ill-mannered, rude and self-centered. If people want to ‘educate’ in a kind way, that’s fine. But to say mean things about you and your children….give me a break. These same people mostl likely had no idea about the differences between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes until their own children were diagnosed. Your letter is very kind and from the heart.
Hugs to you and your daughter.
This is beautiful! And so was your rewrite. I’m the one who posted the obnoxiously long list of activity sets for dolls 🙂 You are a true example of grace under pressure. The haters had no more reason to call you names than you would, and yet you chose the high ground with this post. So many kudos to you!!
Fun fact that I thought of after posting: the trainer sarcastically mentioned having a tree for the dolls to climb? THERE USED TO BE ONE! They came out with a limited number of tree houses for Kit’s collection several years ago. It was like $350, but still.
It takes a lot of courage to write this type of article. And to learn to understand and correct their mistakes. Hats off to you Rachael. 🙂
I was among the first of the momma bears to “attack”. Rather just educated on the misinformation at the time right away, no craziness because it was not too long ago that I was naive & didn’t fully understand the difference until it affected our family.
Thank you for taking the time to educate and understand.
Thank you! I remember being so mad and angry with you. I was so quick to send you an email out of pure anger. I read this article with tears running down my face. Some Hurd my voice!! Someone actually took the time to read our emails!! Someone apologized and I forgive you whole heartedly YOU ARE HUMAN!! Not all mods were always so educated on t1d pre dx. Which my son was dx at 5 on 12/26/13. We are always #modstrong #blakescorner