How long does it take to get divorced? 2.5 minutes
How long does it take to get divorced? Two and a half minutes, in my fresh experience. Nearly 19 years of marriage legally dissolved in under three minutes from appearing in front of the judge to walking out the door a free single woman. I moved out April 5. The divorce was finalized October 4. […]
Womanizer Review: Best Sex Toy for Women, GET ONE NOW
LADIES! Listen up. If you are going to judge me for talking about sex toys, please stop reading this and go look at one of my Instant Pot or green smoothie recipes instead. Beloved straight dude friends, go away. Go read my love letter to a hot dog. Still there? Pause whatever you’re doing and buy […]
How to make Instant Pot tomato sauce
My friend scored a 1/4 bushel of grape tomatoes for free. That’s a LOT of tomatoes! And because she’s an awesome friend she immediately declared them OURS. We were RICH in tomatoes! It was amazing. We plotted and planned a weekend of sauce making. She brought the tomatoes over to my house and we […]
How to make the perfect hot dogs
I love hot dogs. I will choose a dog over a burger most of the time. I’m picky, though. I want perfect hot dogs. I won’t eat a cheap weenie. I actually really like turkey dogs, but all beef are also good. They need to be bun length and not too thick. I’m less picky […]
Couch surfing at age 40
“Couch surfing is just normal life for me,” the adorable 20-something boy said. I’d just been telling him how I had to leave my rental home for a month and was spending July hopping from friend to friend. Couch surfing at age 40. Only I didn’t sleep on a single couch. The benefit of couch surfing […]
Why you shouldn’t ignore dash lights and always have AAA
Gather round. I’m going to tell you a story about why you shouldn’t ignore your dash lights and should always have AAA. What’s that? You already know not to ignore your dash lights? Common knowledge, you say? Oh. Well, gather around anyway and laugh at with me. My tire light came on the dash in […]
A Sea Bean and the Power of Teenage Friendships
Teenage friendships are intense. I was reminded of this recently when I thought I lost my sea bean. Yes, my sea bean. I’m 40 years old, but I was suddenly 17 again and desperately needed that little seed. You see, it was given to me by a friend when we were in high school. It […]
All bodies are ready for summer, so put on that bathing suit!
I stopped buying into the summer body or beach body hype a few years ago. It never got me very far. I’d see the headlines on the magazines in the grocery store checkout lane. I’d buy several, in a panic to try to lose a massive amount of weight before summer hit. It never worked […]
I’m getting a divorce
My Facebook wall is flooded with inspirational memes and expressions of gratitude for my friends. People outside my little bubble might think I’ve been vague-booking. I haven’t been deliberately hiding anything. There’s just been lots going on and the time for me to share hadn’t arrived yet. Maybe it never will on some of the things. […]
Inspirational Memes: How Facebook Saves
My friend Elizabeth has posted inspirational memes on my Facebook wall EVERY SINGLE DAY for months. MONTHS. Nearly six months in fact. EVERY DAY. I met Elizabeth through a retreat for moms of traumatized kids. She was at the retreat in February while I was sleeping next to my teenage daughter’s bed in the pediatric […]
Why Straight Women Like Gay Porn
A friend recently asked me why straight women like gay porn. Here are my thoughts. “Why do straight women like gay porn?” Hotter guys The guys in gay porn are so much hotter. SO MUCH hotter. They are better groomed, have better bodies, and have more attractive faces. And there are at least two of […]
Why you shouldn’t put oatmeal in garbage disposal
My husband and I separated in April. Our daughter is living with him. I’m living on my own for the first time ever. It’s been terrifying, heart-twisting, healing, and about a dozen other emotions all at once. I’ve been learning a lot about myself. I’ve also learned some big life lessons – like don’t put […]
This is 40: Turning Forty, In Photos #thisis40
I turned 40 in February. This obviously means lots of people I grew up with are also turning forty. My high school friend, Ashly, issued a #thisis40 challenge on Instagram. I stole her caption and adapted it just slightly: “So many of my closest friends are, or will be, 40 this year. I remember when […]
Don Cesar Hotel Review: Reasons to stay Solo
I have spent big chunks of the last week in the car. My daughter, a rising high school senior, is attending several week long resident pre-college programs. Last week I drove her to Flagler College in St. Augustine, three hours north of us. Saturday I picked her up and drove her home to repack. Then […]
Broccoli, ham & pimento cheese crustless quiche
Fun fact: I don’t like pie crust. Savory or sweet. I just like the fillings. I’m not a crust person. But crustless quiche is my jam. I invited some friends over last minute for a Saturday morning brunch. I love to put together food for people, even if it’s just a spread of cheese, crackers […]
I had a tea leaves reading…here’s what went down
I was looking for something totally new and different to do a few months ago. I wanted a distraction from my normal life, but I didn’t really want to be in a social setting. I wanted different, but not socially uncomfortable. A friend mentioned on Facebook she had her tea leaves read. I called for […]
100 Day Writing Challenge
I started writing again after a long break this week. I set a 100 day writing challenge. My goal is to write a blog post every day for the next 100 days. Except I messed up on day 3. But I haven’t gone to bed yet, so it still counts, right? I’m wide awake at […]
Literal drowning yourself vs metaphorical feeling of drowning
Yesterday I wrote about feeling like I was drowning. This is a public service announcement: be careful how you say things when in crisis. You might send concerned friends into a panic. There’s a big difference between feeling like you’re drowning vs. feeling like drowning yourself. Big. Difference. I was talking metaphorical drowning, not literal. […]
I was not okay. I was drowning.
I was not okay. I was drowning. That’s the best way I can describe the last year. Maybe longer. No, definitely longer. Way longer. Drowning. I’d been saying, “I’m not okay,” for at least a year. To my husband. To my daughter. To my best friend. My family didn’t understand. My friend wanted me to […]
Rebuilding My Life and Learning to Speak Up
This post is sponsored by Kowa Pharmaceuticals America, Inc. Personal opinions and thoughts are my own. I am rebuilding my life right now. All of the sudden, I turned 40 and realized I lost myself in motherhood, being a wife and trying to have a successful career. Part of my rebuild is making all of […]
Best Plus Size Dress With POCKETS – and it’s a bargain!
This is a public service announcement. I have found THE BEST plus size dress with pockets. This dress is so flattering and comfortable. It’s ADORABLE. And it’s inexpensive! Are you with me? No need to pay $80, $100, etc. for a cute plus size dress with pockets from Modcloth or Eloquii. This pretty baby is […]