I turned 40 in February.  This obviously means lots of people I grew up with are also turning forty.  My high school friend, Ashly, issued a #thisis40 challenge on Instagram.  I stole her caption and adapted it just slightly:

“So many of my closest friends are, or will be, 40 this year. I remember when we used to think this was old, ancient even. But after nearly falling apart and almost completely losing myself, I am seeking peace, healing, confidence and more for my forties. I want to challenge all my 40 something friends to post the photos that make them feel beautiful, wise, powerful, or just amazing. Use #thisis40 and tag me, and rock your fourth decade in this crazy place we call life.”

These are the 10 photos I chose to represent turning 40 and why.  Each photo has a story behind it.  I also vividly remember how I was feeling when I snapped each.  They are all selfies.  (No, 40 isn’t too old to take selfies.)  Pop over to Shrinkingmomster on Instagram to check them all out.

This Is 40:  Turning Forty In Photos

A post shared by Rachael Moshman (@shrinkingmomster) on Jun 19, 2018 at 7:21pm PDT

1. I was trying on bodysuits for a boudoir photo shoot I was doing.  I sent this photo to a friend for feedback.  I wound up wearing it in the shoot.  Feeling: bold.
2. Friday night hanging out at my best gal pal’s house, lounging on her couch, watching Queer Eye with her cat on my chest.  Feeling: comfortable and relaxed.
3. Exhausted after the boudoir shoot, but still totally feeling myself.  (Posing in your underwear for two hours is work!)  I still had on high heels, even though I was a lump on the couch because I felt HOT AF in them.  Feeling:  proud, tired, confident, sexy.
4. This was Mother’s Day.  I didn’t want to get out of bed that morning.  My daughter isn’t living with me.  I moped in bed having a pity party alone until 2 and then got up, dressed cute in my Mary Lambert t-shirt and went out to spend time with my mom and grandma.  Feeling:  sad, but strong.
5. I’ve always thought I didn’t have eyelashes.  Turns out they’re just really light and needed the right mascara.  Enter Bad Gal Bang by Benefit.  I sent this photo to my bestie to show her I’d accomplished cute makeup on my own (a new thing for me) before heading off to a networking event, followed by a meetup with an old friend.  Feeling:  sassy, excited, accomplished.
6. Like the Mother’s Day photo, this one was also after a morning of moping in bed.  This is the frangipani tree in the front yard of my rental house.  I love it so much.  It will get it’s own post one day.  I put my phone on my car’s window ledge and use voice control (“capture”) to take photos by the tree.  I’d had a really difficult talk with a good friend the night before.  There were so many feelings: vulnerable, brave, confident, embarrassed, rejected, sad. It triggered a whole lot of feelings about stuff going on in my life I was trying to ignore.  The friend kept bugging me the next morning to get out of bed and go out into the world.  I sent him this photo as proof that I at least got dressed and went outside.  Feeling:  emotionally hungover, overwhelmed, thankful for friendship
7. Had some champagne with some of my ladies.  Wound up being photographed topless in a hotel.  Ya know, as one does.  #thisis40.  Feeling: adventurous, free
8. Sent to a friend with the caption, “My lips aren’t as nice as yours, but they’re still good.”  Feeling:  content, satisfied
9. I took this mirror selfie at the Don Cesar hotel in St. Petersburg, Florida.  I was treating myself to a solo stay and was about to go down for breakfast.  I scored this dress at a thrift store and it sparks joy. Feeling: cute, optimistic.
10. I just thought my boobs looked really good here.  Feeling:  sexy, confident, sensual.

Turning forty has been full of change for me.  Terrifying, earth shattering, life altering change.  But I’m excited to see where I go after I trudge through the hard stuff.  These photos remind me there’s a lot of good, even in difficult situations filled with intense emotional upheaval.

I challenge you to do your own photo collage and tag me!  @shrinkingmomster