My husband and I separated in April. Our daughter is living with him. I’m living on my own for the first time ever. It’s been terrifying, heart-twisting, healing, and about a dozen other emotions all at once. I’ve been learning a lot about myself. I’ve also learned some big life lessons – like don’t put oatmeal in your garbage disposal.
I’m very much embracing being 100% the boss of my own space. For example, last night I ate cereal in the bathtub while texting my friends at midnight. Just because I wanted to and have the ability to do it because I don’t have to worry about disturbing anyone else. This freedom eases the sting of my daughter not living with me a bit.
Soon after I moved in, I decided to make oatmeal for dinner. Again, because I can.
My rental came fully furnished, right down to a pantry full of food. I brought my own oatmeal with me in the move, but noticed some finely ground steel cut oats in the pantry. I opened the container, but thought, “I don’t know how old these actually are,” and decided to toss them.
But the garbage was full and I didn’t feel like taking it out right then. (Because I’m the boss of that trash.) So I decided to pour the oats down the garbage disposal and then put the container in the recycling bin.
Here’s what happens when you put oatmeal in garbage disposal:
I’ve never had a garbage disposal. My friend was over a few days before and almost had a heart attack because I turned it on without the water running. I didn’t know that’s a thing you’re supposed to do. It is. It super is.
However, I totally remembered to turn on the water when I dumped the oatmeal down. And then the water stayed. The sink instantly clogged.
I turned to Google for a solution. Google said to pour baking soda and vinegar in the sink, then let the hot water run.
That just made the sink clogged with more water, plus baking soda and vinegar.
I texted a different friend for advice. He tried to walk me through using a drain snake. I gave up on that plan before even trying to locate a snake.
I ran to the store and got Liquid Plumber. I poured that in and hoped for a cure.
Nope. I got a sink filled with water, vinegar, baking soda and chemicals.
So I woke up with the sink still clogged and called a plumber first thing in the morning. They sent someone out by noon.
First off, he said the liquid drain products almost never work and are a waste of time.
Then he told me he could read people’s energy.
“If someone has a headache in Walmart, I pick it up instantly and have to go home and go to bed because it drains me.”
“That must be hard. Do you wish you could turn it off?”
“No, never! Why would I turn it off? Then I couldn’t feel your energy and it’s making me feel great.”
So I retreated to another room and pretended to be hard at work on my laptop.
I texted two friends about the exchange.
Guy friend who tried to teach me how to use a snake: “Congrats on the sex you’re about to have!”
Girl friend who taught me to run water when using the garbage disposal: “Dial 911 on your phone so it’s ready to go if needed.”
Creepy plumber came out of the kitchen and showed me the garbage disposal pipes, totally clogged with oatmeal. It expanded and became cement with all the water I put down the drain, trying to use the disposal the right way.
“Next time make yourself a nice oatmeal bath instead,” he suggested.
First off, EW to him thinking about me in the bath. Secondly, wouldn’t that just clog the bathtub pipes?
After he got the sink all sorted out for me, he said he was going to New Zealand in the fall to “walk where the Hobbits walk.” He asked if I’d like to go with him.
I politely declined, then told him I needed to get going, so what did I owe? $100.
This people. This is the real reason you never put oatmeal down the garbage disposal. You might get a creepy energy-reading, Hobbit-loving plumber.
So you can be boss of your own space when you live alone, but you’re also on your own to deal with the consequences.