Literal drowning yourself vs metaphorical feeling of drowning

Yesterday I wrote about feeling like I was drowning.  This is a public service announcement:  be careful how you say things when in crisis.  You might send concerned friends into a panic.

There’s a big difference between feeling like you’re drowning vs. feeling like drowning yourself.

Big.

Difference.

I was talking metaphorical drowning, not literal.

A few days after my daughter was released from a lengthy hospital stay, I told my husband she and I were moving out.  I wasn’t okay.  I needed space.  I thought she and I could both use a change of scenery for healing.  She said she was on-board with the idea.  She seemed excited as we planned the fun we were going to have living a short walk from the beach.

The night before the move, she told me didn’t want to go with me.  I’d already paid for multiple months.  I knew I needed to leave.  I wanted her with me.  This wasn’t the plan.  I wouldn’t have started this in motion if I thought there was a chance my daughter wasn’t coming with me.

She went to bed and I had a meltdown, alone in my office.

A dear childhood friend messaged me.  “How ya holding up, Toots?”

And I unloaded.  I told him I was a mess, that I was the worst mom ever, that I was falling apart, that I felt like I was drowning.

Then I went to sleep.

I woke up to my phone buzzing like crazy.  He was frantically worried about me and had alerted our other friends.  And his mom.  In the middle of the night.

I explained to one of these friends what had happened.  That I only felt like I was drowning.  That there was no plan to literally drown myself.

His response?

“Well, you are moving next to the beach.”

So I guess drowning seemed like a legit possibility.  Also, I am a horrible swimmer.

So the moral of the story is if you have wonderful, protective, concerned friends be careful of how you phrase your crisis.  Especially if they are known to sometimes have a few drinks late at night.

The people involved are probably reading this.  I love you so much. SO MUCH.  Thank you for caring.  Wind beneath my wings and all that, for real.

Feel like you’re on the verge of drowning?  Are you not okay? Text CONNECT to 741741.