I’m not exactly sure WHAT it says, but it definitely says something about your friendship when they totally skip over your murder plot in a text rant.
Some best friends are ready to dive right in when a little murder comes up (hey girls hey to Mary Anne and Wanda). My best friend? He just ignores it.
I’ve written about my Bestie Boo several times. We met in 8th grade. I still remember our first interaction. He sat in front of me in language arts. He turned around and handed me a pencil I didn’t even know I dropped. And that’s been our dynamic for the last 30 years – him helping me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. He’s learned to ignore most of my rambles – such as casually mentioned murder plots.
Murder plot text rambles
I stayed at his house last week to handle some deliveries while he and his fiance were on vacation. We texted multiple times a day. I didn’t realize we were doing this on the group text with all three of us at first. I tried to steer it back to just Bestie Boo and I to save his sweet fiance from our rambles, but somehow we kept getting back to group text.
Here’s the update I sent of my day one afternoon. This was after I sent photos of my new haircut for him to critique.
1. The patio set arrived.
2. I interviewed for the job at the college.
3. My trash business might be expanding.
4. The clothes I brought are too big and apparently I need flat close toed shoes for Napa so I have to shop tomorrow. I only brought sandals. With heels.
5. I seriously might murder X. If I do please help Grace negotiate a Netflix documentary like that Dear John one Stavo and I watched . I’ve reached the anger stage.
6. I’m going to have drinks with that girl from high school who papparazzied you at the wine place.
Xoxo love you
His response was, “Have fun. Can’t wait to hear more about your”
I asked, “My what? Arrest for murder?”
HOURS later he finally responded, “Trash expansion.”
He was totally unphased and uninterested in my murder plot.
I’m off to jot this down in my Therapy Notes journal so I remember to unpack it with my therapist.
* For legal purposes, this was all just a joke. There is no murder plot.
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Also check out:
The Time I Locked Myself Out of Bestie Boo’s with the Oven On
The Time I Clogged the Garbage Disposal and the Plumber Invited Me to New Zealand