I noticed someone blocked me on Facebook and Instagram recently. I’d texted this friend to ask if she could recommend a hematologist for my mystery medical issues. It had been a few days without a response so I decided to check her social media accounts. Not responding to a text for days was unusual for her and I was a little concerned.
And that’s when I saw she blocked me.
I was really upset because I thought this was a solid friendship and I had no idea why she was upset with me. So I texted,
“Good morning! I just noticed you blocked me and am wondering why? Best wishes always.”
Her response was that she feels I’ve taken her words and used them for my own “message.”
I write about my life, my feelings, my struggles, my healing. I’ve spent the past six months deep in therapy, self-help books/podcasts/articles/TikToks, etc. and self-reflecting. I even created and published journals for other people based on what I need to feel better myself.
Writing is how I process life. I share openly because it feels good when people tell me it helps them. Many would say I overshare about my life and my feelings. So for someone to say I took their content and used it as my own confused me, to say the least.
I read through months of my Instagram posts trying to understand where she was coming from and it’s all me. 100% the ramblings of Rach.
This person has been someone I greatly admire when it comes to healing, body positivity, self-care, and doing scary things. Yes, she posts about these things on social media and we’ve talked about them one-on-one. But I was writing about emotional health, healing, and body positivity before I met her. In fact, that’s how we met. Both my yoga instructor and the woman who does my eyebrows told me, “You need to meet X. You’ll love her. You guys talk about the same things.”
She approached me earlier this year and asked me to mentor her in writing. I was happy to share my experiences. When I started publishing my journals she asked how I did it and I offered to give her a tutorial. I gifted her my Inner Child Workbook. She was there for me during some of the darkest hours of the last year and some of my favorite wardrobe pieces are castoffs from her closet. Blocking me really threw me for a loop…especially when she gave her reason.
I struggle with not taking things personally, letting go, and moving on. I’m not good at being unbothered. I’ve lost so many relationships this past year and my grief has been almost crushing. Seeing this person suddenly dropped me was a big blow initially.
I’m grateful she responded when I texted, even though I don’t agree with her assessment. But I don’t have to agree. She has her truth and I have mine. I know there’s plenty of room for people to talk about healing and self-love.
She blocked me on social media, so I blocked her on text. It wasn’t vindictive or petty. I’m not upset with this person. I wish her all the best. I just realized there was no point in continuing the conversation or keeping the flow of energy open.
I’m sharing this because that’s what I do here in this little space of the Internet – share my life and my experiences. And if someone thinks I’ve been taking their message as my own, I apparently need to show up in all my authenticity and vulnerability even more. I need to take up more space.
Not long ago, this would have sent me spiraling into shame and self-doubt. I would have tried to change her mind, apologized, and made myself small even if I didn’t agree.
But now I want to be louder and bigger.
And I want you to take up space, too. There’s room for all of us.
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