Guided Emotional Support Journals, you deserve to feel great about yourself!

Thanks, Gwynnie Bee, for the weight loss goal dress!

Gwynnie Bee has given me my first weight loss goal dress!  I saw it this morning and fell in love.  And then I squeezed into it.  It is way too snug, but I see the potential there.  This dress is me.  I have an adorable hot pink tissue thin short sleeve sweater that will work great with it.

gwynnie bee

It’s a size 18w.   So many ladies would be horrified to be in a size 18.  I was proud I got into it and got it zipped up!  I don’t think I’ve been a size 18 since WAY before I was age 18.  I remember being horrified because size 20W jeans were all that fit me in middle school.

I’ve been overweight since I was a toddler.  Not just overweight.  Obese.

I first started my weight loss journey nearly 15 years ago.  Lane Bryant’s size 28W clothing was hard to get on.

It’s been a rocky road.  I’ve made a lot of bad choices along the way.  I started out drastically reducing calories, which led to binge eating, which led to purging.  Yeah, I dropped a huge chunk of weight in just a few months, but once I was able to snap out of it and quit the purging, I gained it all back, plus about 40 more pounds.

The binge eating was harder to stop.  It’s something I still struggle with today.

The binge eating didn’t actually start with the severe calorie restriction.  I’ve been dealing with emotional eating issues since I was a kid.  There’s so much more to weight loss than “calories in, calories out.”

I’ve been on just about every diet, looked into weight loss surgery, taken prescription weight loss drugs, as well as over the counter supplements and ingested concoctions like “slim tea” and warm water with Tabasco and lemon all because I read a promise of dropping pounds with that method somewhere.  And, yes, I counted calories. And points.  And carbs.

I was 361 pounds at my highest weight.  Probably higher.  That’s what I was the last time I was on a doctor’s scale, but I didn’t actively start working on getting healthier again until months later.

It’s been about 9 years.  I’m down 70 pounds.  That’s beyond a slow pace.  It it hasn’t even been “slow and steady” – which wins the race, ya know.  I’ve been up and down, not steady at all.

But I’ve finally landed in a good place.

I’m working out everyday because I want to be healthier and to set a good example for my daughter.  I’m feeding us healthy foods because both of our bodies deserve it.

I’m taking care of me because I want her to see it’s important she do the same for herself.

And for the first time in my adult life I wiggled my way into a size 18W today.

In case you aren’t familiar, Gwynnie Bee is kind of like Netflix for plus size clothes.  You pay a monthly fee and they send you a set number of pieces of clothing at a time from your “closet” of items you’ve selected. You send something back and they send another.  There are also options to buy.

I’ll be honest, the price is way too much for me.  $80 a month for three items at a time.  I work from home and rarely even bother putting on a bra let alone “real” clothes, so it’s not for me.  But the first month is only $10, so I’m going to play a bit and then cancel.

You also have the option to buy the clothing.  The dress I’m in love with is $79.  I’m going to seek it out on Ebay.  (Sorry, Gwynnie Bee… the concept, but I am a bargain shopper!)

I’m going on a cruise with my mom, sister and daughter in May and I hope for it to fit perfectly by then.

My first weight loss goal dress.

I have no idea where I’ll end up because I’ve never been at a healthy weight, so I have no idea what it will look like for me.  However, I know there will be lots of dresses that make me smile along the way.

Because I deserve to feel pretty no matter what size I am.

That’s another truth I desperately want my daughter to see.

And all of you.

This post isn’t sponsored by Gwynnie Bee.  They just happen to be playing a part in my story.




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