Sending Nudes in Your Forties: the Spite Boob

Let’s talk about sending nudes in your forties.

Once upon a time I sent a man a photo of my boob. Just one boob. No nipple.

The light through my Tybee Island bedroom window was perfection. It was like a glowing angel boob. That photo gave me great joy. It still does.

What didn’t give me joy was when the man didn’t respond in appreciation and awe.

Sending nudes without response

(It’s important to note this wasn’t an unsolicited photo. Nor the first time we’d exchanged photos of this nature.)

I sent the glorious angel boob photo and he didn’t comment at all.

So I kept sending it. For months. Randomly.

And he continued ignoring it.

I eventually got bored and stopped sending it.

Nudes after 40

I was married from 21 to 40. Because of this, I entered my forties with basically no dating experience. And I’d certainly never done anything like exchange naked photos.

And then I reconnected with an old friend and photos were exchanged.

I liked doing something that had previously felt so naughty and so very far outside my comfort zone. It was fun.

Until he didn’t respond to my angel boob in awe and wonderment.

Or at all.

Spite boob

I brought it up recently, thinking he didn’t realize I sent it out of spite all those times.

“Remember the time I sent you an amazing photo of my boob and you didn’t compliment it? You probably didn’t realize this, but I sent you that photo out of spite for months. It was spite boob.”

He said, “I knew what you were doing.”

So here are two big life lessons:

1. Being petty probably doesn’t impact the other person. I was only wasting my own energy. He didn’t care.

2. Don’t continue sending boob pics to people who don’t appreciate them. (Substitute “boob pics” with anything else you are serving up without appreciation.)

Snapchat just alerted me I took that photo two years ago today. So Happy Spite Boob day to all of you!

Tips for sending nudes in your forties

1. First off, only send nudes if you want to. Don’t do it just because someone wants you to send them. Do it for you.
2. We talk a lot about unsolicitated dick pics, but sexual content should be wanted by the recipient no matter who is sending it.
3. You define your own version of nude. Maybe it’s just a shot of your thigh or a bit of bootie in the mirror. You don’t have to go all in.
4. Get something sexy to wear if you need a little confidence boost. Shein has great options for so super cheap.
5. Skip your face. You really don’t know who will stumble across this content, even if you 100% trust the recipient. Bonus: you don’t have to worry about what facial expression you should make.
6. It’s all in the angle. Try different angles until you get a shot you like.
7. Put your camera on video mode. Try a bunch of different poses and angles. Play back the video. Pause on what you like and screenshot it.
8. You don’t have to send them to anyone. You can take sexy photos of yourself FOR yourself!
9. If you send someone a spicy photo and don’t get the response you want, don’t bless them with your images again. No spite boob for you!

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