Bathing Suit Shame to Flaunting It In Plus Size Bikinis

A few years ago I would have rather worn sweatpants in the Florida summer than even try on plus size bikinis.  I hated my body.  I hated myself because of my body.

In June 2013 I wrote:

My daughter and I took a weekend road trip to the Gulf coast of Florida to celebrate the end of the school year.  All of that restaurant food (and indulging in whatever I wanted) was not good for the scale!  I’m not going to weigh very often, but I hopped on Monday to report my starting weight.  I saw that number and changed my mind!  I’ll share one day, but not now.

My daughter snapped a photo of me at the beach Saturday.  Oh, my.  I thought I looked hot in my new bathing suit.

The photo was a side view and I literally look 9 months pregnant.

Ouch.

Seriously.  Ouch.

I’m comfortable in my own skin.  I walk around public pools or beaches in my bathing suit without hesitation.

This photo made me reconsider that!

At least I have a great before photo, right?

Our fridge is stocked with healthy foods.  I grilled up some chicken on the George Foreman grill last night, so we have extra for a few days.  I joined the only gym in town that my 12-year-old daughter could also attend as a member.  We went for the first time yesterday.

Summer is here.  I’m going to be healthier when it is over.

I shook my head at myself and smirked when I read those words this morning.  I truly thought I was “comfortable in my own skin” when I wrote that.  I wasn’t.  But oh, how very far I’ve come in 4 years.

I’ve lost weight.  Maybe 30 pounds.  I did it mostly by following Vinnie Tortorich’s NSNG (no sugar no grain) method.  I don’t stick with it all the time, but I’ve maintained a the loss.

I have about 100 pounds to lose still.

I’m still working on it.

BUT…..

Here’s the thing.

I learned to embrace myself right where I am.

I have curves, a big belly, flabby arms.

It’s me.

So what?

I showed that belly off on a cruise ship a year ago in an awesome Ava & Viv bikini from Target.

A month later I posted “I wear plus size bikinis at nearly 300 pounds and yes, you can, too!” with lots of pics.

On the Internet.

For all the world to see.

I recently danced in one of my favorite plus size bikinis poolside at a crowded resort.

I stopped hiding and I’m not ashamed of my body anymore.

How did I get this confidence?

I chose it.

I choose it.

I don’t feel it all the time.

I do the things anyway.

Fake it til you make it.

Loving yourself is a choice.

Accepting yourself is a choice.

Not always an easy one, but I hope I inspire you to work on making the choice to embrace yourself.

Let me know how I can help.