A few years ago I would have rather worn sweatpants in the Florida summer than even try on plus size bikinis. I hated my body. I hated myself because of my body.
In June 2013 I wrote:
My daughter and I took a weekend road trip to the Gulf coast of Florida to celebrate the end of the school year. All of that restaurant food (and indulging in whatever I wanted) was not good for the scale! I’m not going to weigh very often, but I hopped on Monday to report my starting weight. I saw that number and changed my mind! I’ll share one day, but not now.
My daughter snapped a photo of me at the beach Saturday. Oh, my. I thought I looked hot in my new bathing suit.
The photo was a side view and I literally look 9 months pregnant.
Ouch.
Seriously. Ouch.
I’m comfortable in my own skin. I walk around public pools or beaches in my bathing suit without hesitation.
This photo made me reconsider that!
At least I have a great before photo, right?
Our fridge is stocked with healthy foods. I grilled up some chicken on the George Foreman grill last night, so we have extra for a few days. I joined the only gym in town that my 12-year-old daughter could also attend as a member. We went for the first time yesterday.
Summer is here. I’m going to be healthier when it is over.
I shook my head at myself and smirked when I read those words this morning. I truly thought I was “comfortable in my own skin” when I wrote that. I wasn’t. But oh, how very far I’ve come in 4 years.
I’ve lost weight. Maybe 30 pounds. I did it mostly by following Vinnie Tortorich’s NSNG
I have about 100 pounds to lose still.
I’m still working on it.
BUT…..
Here’s the thing.
I learned to embrace myself right where I am.
I have curves, a big belly, flabby arms.
It’s me.
So what?
I showed that belly off on a cruise ship a year ago in an awesome Ava & Viv bikini from Target.
A month later I posted “I wear plus size bikinis at nearly 300 pounds and yes, you can, too!” with lots of pics.
On the Internet.
For all the world to see.
I recently danced in one of my favorite plus size bikinis 
I stopped hiding and I’m not ashamed of my body anymore.
How did I get this confidence?
I chose it.
I choose it.
I don’t feel it all the time.
I do the things anyway.
Fake it til you make it.
Loving yourself is a choice.
Accepting yourself is a choice.
Not always an easy one, but I hope I inspire you to work on making the choice to embrace yourself.
Let me know how I can help.
