Until yesterday, I hadn’t written a fresh post here since September. Four months.
And posting has been very sporadic from the start.
I’m sure you can guess why.
This is a blog about my efforts to lose weight and get healthier.
I’m not always feeling it.
I’ve been in a bit of a funk.
Okay, the funk has been huge.
I stopped writing about the time it became clear medication for my type 2 diabetes was no longer working. I know that happens and the endo is trying a different medication (which also doesn’t seem to be doing the job), but my guilt is huge.
You see, I’ve been diagnosed for years. I don’t even know how many years. Seven maybe?
I put my head so firmly in the sand I don’t even remember when I was diagnosed, which doctor made the diagnosis or the circumstances.
I just started taking Metformin and totally ignoring it right away.
And that went fine until Metformin stopped working.
And now I’m on medication number three that doesn’t seem to be getting my numbers where they should be.
I feel stupid.
Guilty and stupid.
I’ve wasted so much time ignoring it. Time that could have been spent making lifestyle changes. Ya know…the whole jump rope, bicycle and tree to climb from the horrible quote that started the American Girl article mess.
A few people told me they didn’t accept my apology after my admission that I have type 2 diabetes. They felt I especially should have known better.
Having a disease doesn’t automatically mean knowledge.
I now know type 1 diabetes can’t be ignored. Ignoring it means quick death.
Ignoring type 2 diabetes means slow death.
Time to take my head out of the sand.
I’ve been working on it, but now I have the wake up call to really become proactive.
I have an appointment with my doctor this morning to go over recent blood work and see where I am. I’ll make a plan.
I’ll pull my head out of the sand about my type 2 diabetes. I’ll dust the sand off from behind my ears.
I’ll post often. Writing is how I process and I have a lot to process.
I’ll do it.
Because my family deserves it.
Because I deserve it.
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