The trouble with blogging about your journey to become a Shrinking Momster is that you open yourself up to a whole lot of unsolicited weight loss advice. The judgment is something I never get used to about putting myself out there for the Internet to read.
Judgment in my real life is hard for me to deal with, too. I think it is for most of us.
I’d like this space to be a “judgment free zone” – like Planet Fitness – not just for me, but for anyone who wants to post their challenges, struggles and story.
I’m doing this my way. That might not look like you’d do it. So? That’s why it’s MY way and not your way.
I got this message a few minutes ago and I really want to address it:
“I gotta be honest with you- a lot of these recipes are not good for you. Packets of cocoa mix, diet lemonade and sugary juice in your smoothies, crockpot BBQ (sugar??)… By putting these sweet things into your body, especially the stuff with artificial sweetener, you are tricking your body and brain into cravings, crap metabolism, false hunger. Stop putting processed foods into your body and it will respond. No more rice-a-roni. Get some brown rice/ quinoa pasta. Even some brown rice would be a better choice than white rice, or the San Francisco Treat.
If you reduce portion sizes and drink a glass or two of water before meals, your stomach will start to shrink and your body will feel fuller sooner. Water between meals, too. Some of your portions sound huge to me (2 eggs and 2 pieces of buttered toast? That feeds 2 of us in our household, and guess what, I’m not overweight anymore).
I don’t really buy into the “I’m an emotional eater” excuse, because if you only stock your pantry with healthy things, you can binge on cauliflower and not consume 2,000 calories. If it’s not there, it can’t go in your belly.
I had two kids and gained weight. It took me a good year to drop 50 lbs and I’ve kept it off for 3 years now with no fluctuations. It came down to this:
– No garbage food. Buy less, buy healthy, buy whole. Enlist a nutritionist to tell you- no more cocoa packets, no more juice in your green smoothie!
– Water. No soda or juice, ever. I do drink coffee, black.
– Know portion sizes. Measure or weigh, if you can’t eyeball. Use kid/appetizer plates. 1/2 veg. 1/4 protein. 1/4 starch.
– Eat slowly. Drink water. Eat at the table. Slow down. Set your utensils down. Chew. Reflect. Savor. Notice and appreciate the good choices you’ve just made. Stay present, don’t freak out about food. Breathe. You are just eating a healthy meal! Celebrate!
– Movement, movement, movement. Get a trainer. S/he will work you harder than you would’ve chosen for yourself. A good one will push you to do one more rep than you would’ve on your own. Movement everyday. Alternate between one hard trainer-workout (or their homework), and 1-2 days lighter/varied exercise. I would do one day trainer, then swim, then dance/cardio; repeat (with trainer’s homework), etc. Sauna and steam is helpful.
– measure inches, not pounds.”
I’m not saying the person gave me bad advice. Most of it is sound. And I know it. Most overweight people could write a book on how to lose weight. It’s not that we’re lacking the knowledge. There are many other factors at work – regardless of if this person “buys into emotional eating” or not.
I am eager for people to stop by this space – to read, comment and share. I need the accountability because writing is how I process and if I stop writing, I’ve probably fallen away from my goals. Knowing I have people out there checking in will hopefully keep me motivated.
However, I’m not asking for judgment on what I eat. If you don’t like a recipe I’m sharing, don’t make it. That doesn’t mean I don’t want tips. There’s a difference between tips and judgment.
This might not be the blog for you if you are offended by the serving size of 2 eggs and two pieces of toast.
I struggle with a binge eating disorder. This blog will sometimes be about that. I’m working to break habits I’ve had my whole life without triggering my disordered eating. I also have a child who suffered horrible neglect before my husband and I adopted her and who also has food issues, so I’m also working hard to make healthy changes in our life without triggering her.
This blog is going to be about baby steps and celebrating the small victories.
It is not going to be about huge changes or a fast, radical overhaul.
Slow and steady wins the race, right?
I know I’m going to get unsolicited advice nearly daily. It’s just how it is. However, please try to be respectful of the fact that I’m making my own path here and finding what works for me.
So let’s share and encourage each other, but without an overload of weight loss advice.
I don’t think two eggs with two pieces of toast is “huge” at all. LOL – We are all different, what works for one person doesn’t work for another. I really think we need to be supportive and encouraging one another and you have my support – you are doing awesome so far and you’ll make it to your goal 🙂
Thanks! Two eggs with toast actually sounds really good…breakfast tomorrow!
Until a person has been abused, beaten, battered and bruised they will never EVER be able to understand emotional eating. I’ve dealt with emotional eating, binge eating, over eating, and addiction to laxatives, all a direct relation to things that happened to me as a child. People who don’t “buy into it” are generally those who have never suffered abuse at the hands of others and who battle no clinical mental health issue. That is why they “don’t get it” and they never will. As for the 2 eggs and 2 pcs of toast, I dare that person to go round and round with my dietitian. As long as your calories are within your weight loss mark – 2 and 2 isn’t a problem. If thats too much for her family that is her choice but it certainly isn’t a large portion by any means. People are quick to judge. They feel we are a “one size fits all” society when it comes to weight loss. If it worked for them it must work for us too. Instead of criticism people should applaud you for the steps you are taking to change. That’s going to work much better in your favor.
Thanks for sharing. I know you get it. I’ve also been through most of your list (binge eating, emotional, over eating, laxatives, making myself throw up, etc.) I don’t want to send my girl down the same road, as she endured great trauma before she came to me and struggles with food.
Hm, I actually am a survivor. Abused thru childhood by a family member and not believed. But I choose to nurture myself now and take care of my myself like I wasn’t as a kid. I unfortunately understand this very well. Strange that would be rationale to dismiss me. Look, if you disagree, that is fine. But it’s weird to draw this conclusion. People can disagree with you. It doesn’t mean they haven’t gone thru things!
Chrystal, you should totally ask your dietician how to make this omelet breakfast healthier. Would she really give a green light for a 2 egg cheese omelet and 2 Pcs buttered toast? How about egg beaters? Egg white? Vegan cheese? Less toast? Any ideas?? Curious.
Congrats on being honest with yourself and taking the first steps! Most of us have been overweight for a good portion of our lives and even the smallest of steps shared on a journey are important. THANK YOU for sharing yours! We’re rooting for you!
Thanks, Rachael! I’m rooting for you, too!
I agree with Chrystal, 2 and 2 isn’t a huge portion by any means. My 3yo eats more than that and he weighs a whoppin 25 lbs. Besides, everyone has to start somewhere. You’re making all the right steps in the right direction, getting started at the gym was a huge step! If you want to improve your smoothies to make them healthier, try something like juicy juice which has all natural sugar only. Want to improve your gym time, do your stretching and warm up IN the sauna every time that it’s possible because it makes you more limber and you work up a sweat just being in there to get you started. It works wonders on the muscles. 😉 You’re doing good! Don’t ever forget that it is also a far sight better to be plus sized, an emotional eater, or even a binge eater than it is to have an ugly heart because YOU can change that and THEY can’t. You know what they say about karma… it will get them eventually. Keep on keeping on with what you’re doing.
My baby steps are working! And I feel good!
No one is perfect. Not even those people who “think” they are. You do what you have to in order to lose weight because what works for one will not work for someone else. If for no other reason than – in my case anyway – I’m too stubborn to follow advice from know-it-alls.
Food police or telling what to do makes me want to do the opposite. It’s a trigger.
Best weight loss tip in the world? Find what works for YOU, and do it consistently. Everyone wants to share what works for them – and I get it, I want to help people, too – but sticking to it is 90% of the battle! Good for you for expressing yourself here, and for doing what needs to be done to get your health on track. That is all that matters.
Yes! This thing I’m doing now (basically just not obsessing about losing weight or “dieting”) IS working!