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I Cried Through the End of 2020

It’s taken me half of 2021 to recap 2020. Whew! The end of 2020 was really hard for me. Here’s a quick recap of the first part of the year.

  • I started 2020 heading to Tybee Island, Georgia for three months.
  • Then I got quarantined there for three more months. I was quarantined on a literal island. And it was pretty great.
  • I also spent some time in a creepy house in Savannah.
  • I accepted a job offer in my hometown and moved back to Florida, spending two months in a tennis resort while I looked for a long-term rental.
  • I moved into a townhouse on Halloween and officially started the job on November 1.

The end of 2020 was heavy emotionally. Here’s what happened in November and December.

Mommy’s first rental

When I signed the year lease on the townhouse I’m writing this from, it was my first time considering just my needs in housing. This is the 6th house I’ve lived in since leaving my marriage (though this is only the second annual lease, the others were between two and six months). Everywhere I lived before was with my girls in mind, even the short-term rentals.

They both seemed settled into their own college lives, so I didn’t focus on them first when searching for a rental. Actually, it turned out there was almost nothing available to rent in the area. Having dogs made it even more complicated. Not having access to unlimited funds was another strike.

The expiration on my temporary tennis club rental was quickly approaching and I still hadn’t found a place to rent, even working with realtors. Then I stumbled upon a post about a two-bedroom townhouse at the tippy top of my budget on Facebook marketplace. I messaged the owner and she said she had twelve applications already, but she happened to be onsite if I wanted to run over and see it.

She and I hit it off and she rented to me! WHEW! I really cut it close!

I moved in Halloween weekend. Here are a few pics.

The owner took a deep dive into my online writing and learned I love pink. She gave me this lamp and mirror (which I’ve since hung on the wall).

Pink lamp and pink jeweled mirror

Home is wherever you hang your singed Rupal photo.

Dining room

Cute little outdoor area in the back.

Cute outdoor patio area

I love these chairs!

Colorful vintage chairs!

I bought a leaf blower!

This made me feel so independent! The cute little patio quickly gets covered in leaves, so I bought a lime green (my second favorite color) leaf blower.

Working 8-5

I officially started the new job the Monday after moving into the townhouse. I’d been freelancing for this company for a year, but this marked my first time having to physically go to an office and work set hours in a decade. It was a big transition!

Eloquii Unlimited: at least the end of 2020 was stylish!

I looked super cute going to my new job each day thanks to Eloquii Unlimited! I loved getting a new bag of clothes each week, then mailing them back for a new batch. I barely did laundry for months!

Eloquii unlimited outfit

Nights like this

I spent a lot of evenings watching the sunset over the river with my friends. I was excited about my new home, new job, and being back in the same place as my friends.

Cocktail on the river

Childhood trauma

That contentment was short-lived. A bomb was dropped the week before Thanksgiving that triggered some really heavy childhood trauma I’d been ignoring for forty years. It sent me into a tailspin of emotions.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was tiny. I spent it with my kiddo who lives here in Florida and her boyfriend, and my friend. My other daughter didn’t come home from Texas. Kiddo was thrilled because I catered the meal to her – ham, deviled eggs, mac & cheese.

Complicated friendships

I was really struggling emotionally and mentally and made some choices that really complicated important friendships. The fallout from that is still raw every minute of every day now.

The bigger the kid, the bigger the problems

In addition to dealing with my own crisis, my Texas daughter was struggling with her mental health and called me crying most days. It came out she was in a very toxic relationship. I was sick with worry for her.

Christmas

I had both girls for Christmas, plus a “bonus” kiddo (“Best Friend” from the old Last Mom blog days) who has been around since they were 9-years-old. Texas daughter and I were both in deep pits of emotional distress, but we still baked cookies and looked at Christmas lights while drinking hot chocolate.

The end of 2020

I got dressed up in a red cape dress from Eloquii Unlimited on New Year’s Eve and went out for sushi with my daughters. We were home by 8 p.m.

Eloquii unlimited red cape dress

The end of 2020 was pretty sad and painful.

And then it got even worse in 2021!

Sorry to end this series of 2020 recap posts on a downer note, but that’s how it played out.

If you’re struggling, reach out to the Crisis Text Line 24/7 free. Just text HOME to 741741.

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